Welcome to my Life

Shifted!

2009-12-19T12:30:00.000+08:00

blog has been shifted.... See ya

There's no place like home..

2009-12-08T23:29:00.002+08:00

To begin with, before i start my sleep, even before i conclude.. I can only say there's no place like home. No kiddin serious. Serious serious.. After all e new changes.. We thought it'll be slightly better.. Guess we were all wrong!

This time, there are.... How should i say.... More safe? Whereby they will nvr ever over sight safety.. They're so.... Safe that we are enforced to do as what they are told..

Cos of that.. Everyone of us, depressed.. Some (me) havin insomnia and some havin no appetite..

To side track bit.. I just had concert last week with tpo on mendelsohn's midnight summer dream.. It was great! Narrator's great.. 15 characters all by himself with lots of humour.. Lovely..

Somehow i really miss rehearsals and practice..

I miss home really much.. I miss her for her concerns.. When her msges eased my sorrows and lifted my spirit.. I really miss that..
If you're reading this.. Im really sorry.. I was a total ignorant, selfish and an ass....

You're always right.. This path what im havin is not worth fighting for.. 9 months of torture to earn more of it..

And again there's no place like home.. I miss you..

effortless

2009-11-13T18:47:00.002+08:00

our battery is going on standby next week.. So, kinda busy with blk e preps for past few days.. Plannin events for my men wasn't easy.. Have to find supervising, safety and also conducting for it. Not easy when ppl keeps rejecting etc. 10 more months before livin back to civilisation. I guess this flat black bar really change a person.. E pride, stress lvl, ego, demands etc.. Well.... Not completely true... But there are some exceptions.. Hmmm...

Continuing on e standby.. Everyday gotta do parades.... Shan't elaborate more....

"Hai-ya!!"

E guys are having their lessons now.. On combat trainin.. E 4 of us have learnt it before so we're just spectating them.. How funny when they are learnin breakin fall and shouting to inhale more air..

I need more air now.. Thinkin back bout e gadget that i've bought.. It was freakin expensive for its value!! Really really heart breakin..

Whats more heart breakin is that no one's talkin to me....

Dont think bout that anymore....

I miss school now.. E times during history lesson and practicing at e corridor.. Boy i miss that very much..

back back and back

2009-11-02T17:12:00.002+08:00

After so long of mia. Im back again.. Im in e office now, whereby im readin both music text and my S0P (standard ops procedures) for e coming standby.. For my role, i've lots of things to prepare and do upon activation. Pls dont activate..

Spent one month in my new camp already (while 3/4 of e peeps here went to india for evaluation). And i now how my life's gonna be for next 10 months.. ARGH! Yea.. You heard that.. Pain in e bee hive and brain.. I looked after my men, givin them bit of welfare (well not that BIT), and also handlin their stunts whenever there's chance for them.. My boss is a hokkien beng.. So almost 80% of his conversations im havin a hard time comprehend it.. And he's good at pointin pistol at us, extras extras and extras. Every greenhorn is so afraid of that word! Extras.. One word that can actually petrified few ppl.. Yea its cos of e duties that everyone tryin to siam... I've done 3 so far and im deprived of sleep everytime.. Waitin for e mail to arrive before sendin my reports.. And everytime im sleepin on e couch, with weird pose.. That doesn matter. Im not lookin forward for this week's activities.. Boss comin back.. Two duties waitin for me.. Sat bookin out cos of change of commander.

Im back to tpo! So happy that im back to music world.. E feelin of holdin e neck of e bass was so good! Holdin my new bow with excitement and pressing it against e string and pull it to make a horrible sound for a start. Ah.. With a huge vibrato to make it wavy.. Hoho... May sound crazy but i preferred this than that.. I miss school!

Been attendin gym once again.. But its on e cardio basis.... Cycling, skipping (freakin tiring) and stepping up on e machine.. And it help for running on up slope..

My phone is real quiet now....

Heartbroken

2009-09-29T23:02:00.000+08:00

Its been a while since my last entry.. Been through quite tough times.. Like rehearsal for commission parade.... Its a greatest moment for e future officers to commission to become newly officers. Yes.. Throwin e peek cap seems great.. But as you pick it up, you'll start to feel e weight gettin heavier and heavier..

Now im posted to unit.. Which made me upset at first. But have to be optimistic bout it, we train together wif our men and learn together. Since we enlisted together.. We'll prolly ord together.

There's duty to do.. And we must do.. Sigh

I've been e most irritating, jerk and f-up person to you.. And i've decided.. To give you up in order for your happiness.. Thats why i've been doin harsh things to irritate you.... And now you hate me..

once for all....

2009-08-19T14:34:00.000+08:00

Start off.... Happy one week and 3 days belated birthday to myself.. Spent it in thailand.. Though none of e ppl knows bout it...

Im fine with it... But most suckiest thing that happened was that e tire punctured.... Had 4 displacement.. Lots of scoldin by instructors.. Sux man.. And also didn sleep for a day cos of e bloody tire.. Oh well.. Life sux but live with it...

Anyway im back for few days already and im glad its over.. Im left with less than 4 weeks to commission.. Yay.. Just had rehearsal for e ceremony presentation.. Gettin ranks but cant wear it yet.. Sad.. Haha..

Many things also happened to me... And im still lost.. For so many things regardin my future.. Oh well..

Cant say much now since i've gotta go... More to come and i hope to get out of this place.. Stressed....

So long.....

2009-07-31T14:45:00.002+08:00

Finally im back to bloggin... Tryin out new phone to blog... Very fun but very small in terms of e many keypads... Im usin e63... Woots!!!

Been super busy wif army which didn allow me to blog much but surfin fb all around...... Im left with 6 more weeks to enjoy life as cadets with friends and before commissionin... Cant wait!! Right now im spendin last 6 hours of spore time before flyin to thailand for finale exercise... Very stressin!! But it'll be fun experiencin real missions... Hopefully wont cock up...

Been feelib down for past few weeks.. And probs are still nt solvin.... Is it really cos of egoistic?? But sometime i felt its really unfair and very horrible... I just cant wait anymore.... I just cant wait to be back to e past....

Anyway... Im still in cab... Stomach ache due to spicy food.... I must stop eatin meat!!! I've grown bigger which my clothes almost tore... Argh!! Nvr drink protein powder also grow so big!!

Is this truly e end?

2009-05-18T18:08:00.003+08:00

No words can describe how devastated i am right now.. After a downfall.. And recover once again after a chance given, My emotions aren't pretty much stable as before..

Had a talk with mom two nights ago, talkin bout me and what i wanna do in e future.. Mom was pretty much worried for me after all e trainin and e depression im going under. I confessed to her bout my fucked up attitude and what i've done to become like this.. And cos of that.. My social cycle isn't gettin well and worsen my emotions.. And broked down once again to e core.. None will understand how it was like..

Im feelin very very lost now.. Im clueless for this lost, great lost that im gettin.... And i hope you'll read this.. Cos i cant put it into words to describe how desperately sorry i am and how painful to lose someone dearly.. My mind is gettin wild day by day and soon i'll become crazy.. Its a tragic of what i've become..

Cos things wont be e same ever again after losing you..

just because of it

2009-05-17T19:28:00.000+08:00

why is it so unfair?! Why is it hard to understand who ppl didn pick up e call when they are busy?!

lost.. E pain of losing you....

2009-05-05T21:37:00.003+08:00

For e past few days i couldn sleep well.. Prolly cos of stressfulnes from e trainin and many pains in my mind.. I really couldn sleep well.. I've been feelin lost over and over again, hating myself everytime for e stupid mistakes that i've made.

I really dont know what to do and how to solve it. E more i say e more it'll ruin. What should i do? What can i do to make things right again?

When you told me to get lost.. Im really feelin lost already cos im feelin doubliy hurt inside and wanna kill myself.. Many times i tried to be calm but none of them succeed..

Everynight i dreamt bout e past and happy times. But now things changed.. Cos of my complacency and idiotic thinkin. What was i thinkin?! Its too late for me to repent now cos you've already left me.... Im going crazy....

I wan a time machine.

devastating.. Truth remains you're Gone

2009-04-18T23:17:00.004+08:00

New week of arti unit in new camp.. Things didn start out well. Only good thing is sharing same room with same friends and that'll do things better. Within this week i committed offense till received two confinements. Sad huh.. But dont care. But im upset that i didn have enough time to call you. Im so irritated that there's so many lessons to learn within short time and have to take test immediately. I hate it!

I know i've been a jackass, inconsiderate idiot and bloody asshole... But all i want is just that concern of yours.. I just want that care. I just want that...... Why cant and didn you give me... Why.!

I've faced my punishment by losing you... And it'll be my lost...

Now i have tons of rashes on my hidden parts of body. And its getting bad to worst. Thus affecting my mood and going to be depressed..... Very depressed. E pimple out break is gettin bad to worst and i've tried and spent tons of money on my face. Yet still like that.. Omg.. E sight of it is very scary.. Very scary..

Now my com crash and i cant study for e new topic for e test this monday! Im so freakin pissed! This week is e most f up week! My life is in a terrible mess now. Im losing love one and gainin lots of rashes. Argh! Im going nuts!

Missssing

2009-03-22T10:40:00.002+08:00

Just felt upset now... cos whatever i say wont change things back...

but i just want to say is, pls give me more time... all i need is time...

still.... i value you very much... more than anyone else... honest

Why?

2009-03-14T21:02:00.003+08:00

Im back from camp.. and im happy to be home, but not totally.. cos things changed.. sometimes i wonder what have i done to make things like this.... why does it happen.... why must it happen now.... why ?! why why why why.....!!!

I've grown so tired of arguin with my love one.. im very very tired! and why cant u just understand ?! why cant u just be considerate at times?! so what if im singapore!? does that mean im TOTALLY free?!?! my life was taken away by S@F now... and i've lost my freedom! i cant progress on my music even though you THINK its TOTALLY INPRACTICAL to pursure music as career... ok maybe you're right.... but NOT TOTALLY right.... working in a bank will drive me crazy! counting money that doesn belong to me! and my pay will be even lesser than what i count!

im totally lost.... very lost now... ok imma failure cos i cant hong... maybe im trully a failure.... im just a figure of wasted..... im just an excused for living... if thats e case i rather not to be borned... i should have just died while trainin... shoot myself with live rounds....

why is it difficult to forget past ?! whats with the egoness?! why pursue something which wont bring us gd?! why?! why must make things worst? why? why cant just look into future?! why cant forget and forgive?! why pursue it?! WHY ?!

why not supportive of what i do? why not surpportive when i entered ocs? why?! whats e prob?! why am i even treated that why....

why am i even serving in e first place and torture myself?!

why cant i pursue my music immediately after graduation?! why?!

why why why why?!

why am i so freaking depressed?!

why?!?!

why things changed?!?!!

why?!?!?

whhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!?!!?

there's so many whys now.... why?! i want an answer....

i want a reason for this to end....

i want a reason why things change even though i had to serve!

i want a reason why end at crucial time..

i want a reason why ?!

Being true....

2009-01-31T15:21:00.001+08:00

Finally, i've come to blog again. Here, im bloggin in my bunk for after so long ever since my last entry. Live here, good i'll say, but the trainings are very very tough, as well as the workload we have to complete. Shant mention more about that.

However, deep inside now im feeling very depressed, as usual e same feelings. When will i never feel depress again? When will there be anyone understands........ awwwwww cut the crap. its time to brace myself up again. Its true that i need someone to lend a ear, but i cant whine about things, and i shan't.

I just cant wait to book outtttttttt........ commission and ORD to continue with music. I wan music life so badly....

............

2008-12-11T19:10:00.003+08:00

Back to blog world... and im feeling lonely now.... POP is over and now waiting for unit results..... i know it hard that i cant make it to MDC due to stupid posting problem...... fucked up ppl inside there...

anyway... its a wonderful time during recruitment days but the days will be harder after enterin unit...

im depressed now..... so many things happened and im really down..... gugu just passed away.... and i didn get the chance to talk to her..... send my wishes and stuff... i missed her traditional pork meat to the core.... and im gonna attend her wake later... very depressed.... many of my relatives passed away slowly by slowly... i pray that my cousin will be alright.... she has no family members now.... but she's getting married.... and its a grave pity that gugu couldn watch her weddding.... but i know she'll always be there.. RIP gugu....

suddenly.. i felt lost now... what if mom just go off like that one day.... and what it my dreams for my career wont be true ? i really dont know what to do..... i hated army and i still hate now..... but i had no choice but to serve and fuck off.... what should i do.... what should i do now.....

i really need someone who REALLY cares now..

my body is achin after 24km march... many ppl also fainted during the parade as well due to the long standing period..

i just hope that things will be better and even better... gdbye

So much for life....

2008-09-30T16:51:00.004+08:00

In school now, practically doin nth after buying all the stuff for ns... very tiring to travel around and around and around, to find out that most of the shops ran out of stocks... how irritating.. which shows that many poor victims are entering hell zone...

tomorrow night is booking in day... and im not looking forward for it... practiced yesterday and realised that my fingers are super super stiff and powerful that the neck of my bass almost broke off... it sux to be that way... how to continue music like that >!?!??! GARHHHAHH !!!!

super bored now.... cos jacek is not in school today... and all my classmates not in school... and still have to watch concert.... 2 weeks never listen to music.. hopefully this will brighten me up...

its still bothering me of OCS .. sispac and MDC issue.... really... its irritating that they all come into my mind and wondering around... where should i go.. what should i do... should i do it etc... im tired of thinking... but its for my future.. and its tiring... im not intelligen enough to chao keng or whatsoever to get into mdc smoothly.. im sick of that...

Botak days

2008-09-29T00:29:00.003+08:00

LEFT !! LEFT !!! LEFT RIGHT !!!!!!

what a marching cheer~..... sometimes i have to do the timer for the march cos some of the ppl didn wanna do...

anywway im back from 2 hell weeks ... and honeymoon hell is over now..... back to deeper hell now.... soon on wed..

the training is very tough.... somehow we felt that our company is e most toughest compared to the others...... wth........ freak....... lots of vulgarities were spoken and its the main language there.... i really wanna go MDC...... i cant believe my company is trained for OCS and SISpac...... freak la..... i really cant take the mental training..... i really needa touch my instrument soon !!!!!

and i miss you so =(

Goodbyesssss

2008-09-16T08:36:00.003+08:00

Well... today's the day of my enlistment..... wishing everyone all the best for their endavour... bla bla..... gonna miss my bed, room, toilet, kitchen, mom, sis, friends and everyoneee...... and my dbass..... haiz......

been busy spending lotsa money on cab fares and stuff for enlisting. bought until my bag couldn fit in.

its been a pleasure time spending life as a student, REAL PLEASURE...... now im turning into a young man, serving as a soldier..... hopefully i'll be back in ONE PIECE !!!! ARHHHHH!!!!....

all the best ppl......

and im reallllllly reaaallyyyyyyyy sssssoorrrryyyyy///////////////.........

1 more week

2008-09-08T01:33:00.002+08:00

Well.. im left with a week before NS.... Finally all the performances are over.. except for CFG concert that is held this sunday.. i have yet prepared anything.... today's rehearsal cocked up..

I've nth more to write now.. just that im feeling horrible now. i cant accept the fact of me being stupid to blurt out foolish words that jeopardise the situation... i know what is done is done... and im totally regret of what i've done.. sometimes i cant control the anger and frustrations which led those nasty words blurting out... perhaps imma stupid indeed.. just stupid and horrible..

But this is because i need more time and hardwork to pursue my career... i know what im goin for and doin.... but all i need is time and trust... with that i can produce better and good result that you and I hoping for...but what i really need now is understanding, support and time... thats all im asking for.....

I really regret of my stupidity

con't

2008-07-31T18:58:00.005+08:00

Since my previous entry is too long.. shall continue from here. I was saying about continuing my passion. Yes, I shall not bother too much about external things. Its too risky..

Naf@ now has changed completely, their com labs had their complete make over from Dell to APPLE com (WOW), and course from A to B (FREAKING WOW) and their new year 1 students (not wow for some). I have exceptions about them. Its just that we cant stand ppl who thinks so highly of themself and yet can perform to the standard of what ppl expect. Its allllllll in the looks for certain ppl. I at first didn wanna bother but wanna help, who knows that ppl tend not to be appreciative and however, back stabbing them. WTF is wrong with such ppl?!

I have no further comments as these ppl have no such appreciations.. Right hear this! "Play 'p' as SOFT and not LOUD dummy!! stop showing off your greatness of bad intonations!!" thats for you punk. Im so pissed that ppl dont know where they stand.

I dont know, Im just very down these few days. Im confused and paranoid. My bills are goin crazy and i've messed up my own pocket already. I just wanna kill bordem but it has price to pay. But guess what, at some point, money is not important.

Mark and I have encountered this poor girl, 19, who had her left ankle injurt by a jug dropping on it. She was in so much pain and couldn walked. We were stopped by a pair of hot german ladies, besides that, they asked us to help this girl by sendin her home/hospital. We kept pursuadin her to visit the hospital as its very crucial and might caused more severe injuries, but she refused and she reminded me of xuemin with exact case. Really. We sent her all the way back to Tampines St 41, talking to her during the journey to keep her mind off the pain and found out that she's actually studying music as well, but taking pop genre. She's from Malaysia and she has problem with some of her friends here as none of their ideas linked together and cos of their egoness. Reminds me of someone from school.

I asked mark to call 1777/995 while im still talkin to her cos she cant even lift her leg up the stairs and still continue to chat with her. I felt so guilty and traitor after seeing the stunned of her face when the ambulance arrived. but its for her own good.. In the end, she didn let them to attend her but gave her pain killers so she can sustain the pain and visit the doc in the following day. She's very appreciating of our efforts and we told her about xuemin's case which is exactly the same as hers. Her reply was 'She's singaporean and yet she's acting like this?!' Well.. i understand why she said that. Basically she's alone in Singapore. Took cab home at 3+ am after that. and the drive said something that i really needed to hear. Money is not all important.

Speaking about XM, she's working at yamaha PS now, anyone willing to take the trouble to give her some nostalgic moment? i've given her enough of it when goin there to look for keyboard. SPeaking of which, NAF@ life is over now, wont anyone of you miss it? I'll only miss the times when our orch ppl suffer together under some devil, and gossip among them. I'll also miss our year 3 lecturers with Dr Tan and her humours and also Dr Goh's.. Now things have changed but its up to us to accept it and adopt it. Im trying hard to accept it though im able to adopt it. I just want time to fly as fast as possible like e speed of light.

Anyway, that concludes the entry FOR now, THANKS to weikang and rekkha for pang seh-ing us when a sales guy approaches us and bought 5 pens for 10 bucks...

sign off.. really need someone now

NEW START!.... (goodbye my love)

2008-07-15T23:27:00.008+08:00

Hey guys... finally im back to cyber world !!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! (hmmmmm...... nvm)...

anyway..... its been a very tidious period for me for past few months.... exams, rehearsals, teachings, germany trip?! and lastly the upcoming NS preparations...

i guess today's entry will be quite long.... maybe short..maybe... just maybe...

To cut things short... Germany trip was a very happening one.. its about 2 weeks trip with 6 concerts to perform. their weather compared to singapore is very very different.. its like a natural aircon. The air is very fresh there as well and even asthma patient will not have an attack there !! i dont know.. maybe im exaggerating. oh well.. lets go on

Basically our hotels (consists of 2 stars, 4 stars) are always located new petrol station and either McDonald or BurgerKing.... guess what, AND YES WE ATE THEM ALMOST EVERYDAY..... the only food i like is their fries as their methods of cooking is so much .. not as 'chao da' as our local's fast food... they have Mc Ribs!! super oily, but they dont have mcspicy... so, sad for the mcspicy lover.. as for burgerking, they have 3 layer whooper !!!! my goodness..... ultimate sinful.... as huge as carl's junior burger..

our trip consists of LONG DISTANCE journey, sit until my butt hurts to e core but we get to see beautiful sceneries that singapore never has.... my goodness its fantastic. our TOUR GUIDE (botak) told us that every sunday there will have 15 ferraris !!!!!! parking together at a field and the drivers will gather and have a drink.... WOW !!!

we spent most of our money to buy their water which costs twice the amount of our local's water. but their alcohol is halve of ours.

their churches are very beautiful and very antique as they were build probably in 17 centuries... nvm the pics will tell you everything. We also visited Leopord Mozart's (W.A mozart's dad) house, J.S. BAch's house and RIchard straus! but NO BEETHOVEN !!!! ARGH !!!! DAMNIT!

After the germany trip, been busy with her... as she's goin off to aus to further study biotech.. sigh... 2 years of torture...

And thats part of the reason i hate july so much.... the lost of all my love ones..

anyway... i can get to play TURANDO+ !!!!!! how happy... nafa choir is singing as well so can see all the peeps..

oh... talking bout choir, it feels so weird to be graduate.. as in i dont have anymore lessons and i can roam around the school..... and of course.... seeing new ppl and facing their..... you know... gin na-ness. nvm.... i shant be bothered... its true that it doesn paid to be kind..... but i dont care anymore... i shant be nice guy anymore... its IRRITATING !!!

Sibelius concert is this sunday and my first time hearing his own symphony works.... i love his 6 and 7 mainly as its so fantasies like...

I managed to cut super short for this entry today.. cos im too tired to blog... but finally i get to blog..

2 years !!??!?!?!?!? AHHHHH !!!!!!!! i hate NS !!!!!!!!! SHITIES !!!!!!!

Im still confused of what i wanna do... all i want is to have my OWN life.... and continue with my music... i cant seem to enjoy if i have many conflictions along this line... when ppl didn really appreciate what im goin through or agreeing with my passions. I shant think of them anymore.. i just wanna go through e 2 years of hell and continue music far far away from homeland.. im sick of it..

777 plane

view of germany from the top.. notice the road !!

Our first 2 star hotel ! ETAP

First sign we ever encounter before hotel

Weixiang is so red after ONE sip of beer ! whereas Eva is still lookin pale after few sips of beer

Goodbye Nafa...

2008-05-13T00:00:00.002+08:00

Finally the nafa days is over for me.. today's the final and last day for me studying in school. And today's exam is totally horrendous, different from what i expect which is very common for everyone.... my mood changed immediately after the strings have turned outta tune. goodness... hope everyone like it very much and feel touched~~~ ya right...

after what i've heard from my friend of how i played totally upsets me.... as i thought he'll be inspired or something..... maybe diff ppl have different expectations... at that moment... i thought of giving up music..... seriously... im not good at anything...

not to mention about bowling....

but im very addicted to bowling now... really.... the feelings of able to strike are very satisfying and sense of achievement..... sounds weird or creepy but ya... thats how everyone feel..

still im unable to maintain that feel all the time.... failure...

anywya.... im feelign very tired now.... will still be having concerts and performance for exams and stuff goin on.....

whatever it is..... i wish everyone the best of luck and have a great day !!!! LOVE YOU ALLLL !!!!!!

3 more days to officially graduation

2008-05-09T01:39:00.002+08:00

yup.. just like my title show, im left with 3 more days to be nafa student before my final year recital... timing wasnt that good.. so needless to say that my outside friends cant watch my performance/exam..... anyway it doesn matter anymore, cos none will every appreciate my hardwork.

over these years, nafa has made me grow, and realised and exploid the types of ppl around the world... interesting different from sec school days. anyway it doesn matter now..

Been busy with concerts, my first flight to kuching which of course amused the swind band members as they witnessed my first virgin flight.... fortunately the flight lasted only for an hour...

anyway the next flight will be 13 hours from what i've heard..

talking about naf@ life, of course there are facts that confliction and disagreement occur.... but its just sickening.... shant elaborate more.... cos its not nice to do so....

Im just happy that i've learn the instrument...... though its not what i wanted initially,, but its probably the instrument that suits me the best.....

all the best to everyone... and farewell... nafarians......

Backkkkkkkkkkk!!!!

2008-04-15T02:13:00.002+08:00

Anyway.. im FINALLY BACK !!! after so many things have happened... i was so too lazy to blog and bla bla bla....

to begin with... i didn win for the competition.. expected anyway, but it was a good experience to get criticised on =p. Thanks alot for playin for me Yikai!

The Jeff Chang's concert, well.. it went quite good, just that the singAp0rean audience wasn't too enthu compared to the Shanghai ppl who took the trouble to come over from china to watch their Ah Zhe.... but ya.. good experience for free labour anyway..

Swing band !! thats a new one, where all the 10+ ppl of us playing German jazz and oldies songs.. nice........ and we'll be playing in Kuching on 26 for a wedding ceremony. $$$$$$ KACHING!.... Speaking of which.... all of us are still very pissed with N@fa's treatment!! we had beethoven 9th symphony full dress rehearsal... and went to singapore marott hotel immediately... and THEY DONT SERVE US DINNER!!!!! JUST FEW THIN BREAD!!!! lovely !!! wonderful diet plan for us.. nice.... sweeet.

grrrr!!!

Beethoven Symphony 9's concert was a success !!! really.. i happened to listen to the recordings.. and it sounded perfect !!.. (if you dont wanna listen to certain...... erm... parts).. it's wonderful =).... oh well.. my last major concert with NAFA ppl already... quick !! shed some tears now..

even after concert.. im still busy as ever.. preparing for projects presentations.. exams and homework !!!! argh!!!! non-stop hits man!!

Now.... Army checkups... i managed to postpone it just to check on the stupid lump on my left wrist.... the doc said that its common and its minor (well.. not for musicians definitely!)... i was told to wait for 3 more months.... before she could do anything.. and i really hope that her letter can put me to pes C.... im desperate to do C group.... really..

ah... wonderful... i had a new phone already.. Ngage series cum money sucker... which cost me a ton to purcase few games.... sharks... itchy backside la... and caused me alot of trouble already.. shant elaborate them... but its headache already.

right.. i better go sleep now.... will upload photos soon... real soon...... and SOON !!! SOONNNNNNN LAAAA !!!!!!!

OK ?!?! JUST WAIT !!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway... Happy belated bday Ah dai.. (char's maid)........

happy 9th month

Back to Reality..

2008-02-20T00:24:00.008+08:00

Finally chingay is over..... still very sad about not seeing my teammates anymore..... i hope to meet them up again !! its been a great time learning, sharring and enjoying together with them.... with different talents from everyone.. i've managed to learnt something new..

Been chanted for achievin good things...... and tada..... i managed to get into finals...

but still... some happiness have not achieved yet..... still struggling....

been bloody busy with school even though chingay is over.. practicing hard for final recital exam and the competition final... and earning hard..... thats why im so upset that i've no time to spend with friends and family.... its very upsetting me.... but i've no choice since i've choosen this line.. anyway... i have to set my priorities...

sorry for my packed schedule.. im still trying to sort it out..

With Elleen and May

With Ronald and Jayesh

With Vivian

With Maryln

3 pretty boys =X

Putting our gears on~

After putting lip stick... kiss kiss~~

School of fish !! WOSH !

EH ?!?! No dinner ?!??!

Hmmm.. trying to fix the wheels.. must spin spin first to test test the wheel..

WOOT !! wheel is fixed !!

With Steven~

With small Elleen and her 6 more smiles

Finally.. WE LOVE SCHOOL OF FISH !

With her.... Look at her beautiful and cute smile !! (right)....'s left...

Chingay chingay woosh woosh...

2008-02-16T01:27:00.003+08:00

Today just had chingay preview.. instead of performing 7 times.. we performed twice only.. cos of the confusion of the road crew...... anyway hopefullly actual day will be better..

the make up session almost blinded my right eye cos of the sparkle thingy that got stucked into my eye... argh.. until now it still hurs..

standing on blades for 1 hours its not a joking matter man.. our legs eventually felt numb all the way until we sit or move around.. and listening to the kawaii jap song for half an hour, repeating, also bit sian.... cos they repeat without finishing the whole piece.. so we felt.. ARGH....

F1 car is cool.. but really dangerous and costly to make it happen in s'pore !!

saw lots of interesting items and fantastic spirit that the performers gave !! BUTTTTTT half of the audience really have no life in them.... from what we saw and conclude, they are not enthu about the whole parade.. and just wanna kill some time before goin home.. while some of them are really interested in the parade and have the urge to shake, take photo and SCREAM with us... love that moment !! and cos of our interesting make ups which attracts them.. heh heh

anyway..... here's some pic of us.... after make up...

With chin

With Vivian

With Irvan... (Hey ! which cam are you looking at ?!)

With Ronaldddddd...

Tak glam in action......

Chinese New year !!

2008-02-05T19:54:00.001+08:00

Finally... managed to blog... and first time reaching home as early as 7pm like a sec school boy..

anyway.. La Traviata performance is over.. enjoyed it very very much.. though the critics werent being nice in their reviews... but some are encouraging..

1 more week to Nafa Concerto competition.. i doubt i can win.. but just goin to try out... gaining experience.. Though my school work is lessened cos of having electives on first sem... there are so many engagements to attend and entertain... CHINGAY 2008 is coming... and so excited about it.. cos bladding around orchard-suntec is pretty COOL !!!!!

due to many engagements i've lesser time to spend with friends =(..... sigh.. so must book me in advance ppl !!!! no last min notice PLSSSSS !!!!! i dare not to see my organiser anymore... so packed... grrrrr

Kenny's grandad passed away... he has my condolences.. maybe i shall attend the wake by myself since no one wanna go with me.... =(

anyway.... im so packed now... finally can get to eat dinner with my family for once.. really for once ever since i stepped into Naf@..... better go eat now.... tschuz !!!

Chingay makeup.. really looked like a girl =S

Before La Traviata show... bored..

With NAF@ Chorus !! heh

4 Braces !

TPO Bass section.. incomplete..

Eating their "delicious" dinner

With Wee Kiat.. counter tenor nia..... OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.....

With kuku char ~ PANDA !

With HuiQi... Blur queen!

Imagine 2 conductors conducting...

2008-01-20T01:07:00.000+08:00

Perhaps im a woodblock...

6 MORE !!!!!!

2008-01-18T22:52:00.001+08:00

Just received my results for ATCL piano.... sadly.... i failed... my title says it all.. sis told me that the examiner is extremely strict.. and he's the chief examiner for TrinitY... to get that mark within few months and irregular practice is considered good...

but im still unhappy with myself... and i love piano very much.. and yet my achievements werent great... im very touched by my teacher... i didn want to waste his time... but sadly my result tells me that im wasting his time..... damn...

so not looking forward to teach already.... feeling very demoralized...

i just hate it..... need to cool down.... pssssss.......................................

School days...

2008-01-17T00:03:00.000+08:00

Right... Finally school starts.... and im sooooo free in terms of my school timetable... everything ends at 1 but there are practices after that... so in the end still not free =/

"got so much motivation to do homework well and early !!!" thats what i thought at first..... now i still haven start my work... counterpoint hw which is... cos everyday is rehearsal for me.. but tpo cancelled 2 !!! so im 2 days freerer... however i still have to practice... so conclusion.. im still busy =/...

today i was supposed to buy a pen and some cusion for my headphone.. so i made a trip to popular around my house area.... to my surprise... everything changed completely... and finding pen section is harder than i thought.. while finding.. i saw correction tapes everywhere.. and i was tempted to buy.. since buy 1 get 1 FREE and one of them is orange colour.. so i got them.... next i saw staple... and orange colour somemore! so get that...... next i bought pencil lead... also orange..... hah nah...

finally... the pen section is just beside counter..... and i had to buy so many stuff...

after buying all these stuff... i realised my pencil case is too small for them.. so decided to get new one... bigger one... and that cost me 20..

until now i still cant find the cusion for my headphone !! ARGH !!! and cos of 1 pen i had to spend 30+ bucks !!!!!!...

so this is how shopping is like...

Beethoven symphony 9 is madness... yet very very niceeeeeeeeeeee...... i love the piece.. but technical demanding...

La Traviata is wonderful as well !!! i love the sweet melodies..... MUST WATCH !! on 25 26 28 and 29 of Jan !!!!! tickets sold at sistic !!!!!!! price unknown to me.. hah

anyway....... these few days have ups and downs...

Why !?!?!

2008-01-13T00:18:00.000+08:00

Why does things always happen this way ?! after all i've tried....... it still turns out this way.... why ?! im very tired now..... school is starting soon.. and i want to give my best and time...

!@#$%^&

2008-01-04T00:48:00.001+08:00

Feeling very moody now, will burst out anytime.... dont know why and thats the worst part... and the connection is bloody slow than a dead snail..... wth ?! many things to do even before school starts.... stressed...

Happy New Year !!! 2008 !

2008-01-01T17:12:00.000+08:00

WOOTZ !!! Bye bye 2007 and welcome 2008 !!!

been very busy these few days... having skit... and music editing for the skit... and received an award which i was notified at the very last min...

oh ! during the award ceremony... Jeff Wang Chien Fu sat beside me... and we both chatted throughout the ceremony... a very very busy man i must say... and now he hardly fliming anyshows as he wanna take a good rest... after that we became friends without exchanging contacts.... =X.... oh well... hope to see him again...

Its a pity that mom doesn allow me to attend countdown... cos too late and i've been out lately daily.... and cos of that... have to see her black face now...

having bad diarrhea now... so.. am feeling very tired now...

blog again soon...

TUrkey !!! XD

2007-12-23T01:27:00.000+08:00

Just had turkey and ham at char's place.... wonderful !! yum yum.. so irresistable and you'll want more of them... also watched a program of top 50 cutest kid actor/actress... the top 2 belongs to the actor of the home alone!! we still prefer his younger looks.. really... asian cook channel is great!! where you can watch cookin programs all the way of the day !! goodness !! i so want that SCV again !!!....

somehow cant wait for christmas... i miss that feeling.... and time sure flies very fast..... its been 3 years.... already...

im just clueless..

All i want for christmas....

2007-12-22T00:45:00.000+08:00

Finally simple gift concert is over !!! OVER !!!!!! XD...... though the hall wasnt filled much audience... the hall was filled with joyful christmas charol...

oh i just love christmas feel... with warm turkey on the table.... and family members on the table laughin, chit-chatting and enjoying each other's company and laughter... i miss that alot...

got back my results... so much better compared to previous years.. why didn i work hard back then?.... its pointless to mention about past... look upon the comin mountain to climb.... sigh..

its frustrating when you cant do things with ppl when you want to enjoy together....

2007-12-12T23:54:00.000+08:00

I hoped history does not repeat itself again........

sigh

Christmas Carol~

2007-12-12T03:14:00.000+08:00

Right.. its time for winter cleaning for my blog.. since it's filled with spider webs already.. been busy with chingay trainings (woots!), even though under the rain~, and with rehearsals in school and spamming movies =X... shall do that again in schoool !! XD.. fun man..

Time flies real quick. its like within a blink of an eye, a year is comin to end.. i even remembered playin UNO at mac with STSTAZ... haha... hilarious !! and now.. its goin to be 2008 soon ! wow.. i even remembered 3rd dec 2006 i was performing at ICA.... wow... so fast..

oh! speaking of performing... have helped to accompany two vocalist from indonesia... boy.. two of them are diff from each other, one is opera-like and the other is pop/jazz like... even though i was called upon at very last min.. its my pleasure to perform with them.. supposed to be 4 days straight... but changed it to 3... camping at ICA was fun... had a good chat with them before sleeping as well..

Sis is in HAWAII now !!!!!! so gooooooooooooooooood..... and envious ! i wanna go there too !! nvm.. hopefully she'll grab some GOLD MINE back.... from the beach... or golden peach.. whatever they call it.. thus.. its so lonely at home with mom (at least we communicate more and more)... and everyone is so busy with their stuff... char in thailand?! and everyone having exams... lets go bladin after your exams guys!!!!! XD.......

I just hate it when it rains during chingay training... other than spoiling my blades.. it spoils my mood as well.. !@#$%^.. nvm.. at least it makes us sleep comfortably at night..

oh ! here's the photos that was taken at zoo... my last visit was during Kindergarden... how nostalgic !! and its sooooooooooooooooo laggy now... which will probably upload soon......

nvm.. next time then upload.. sooo laggy that i have to wait for 30 mins until it says 'cannot be found'... great... gd night peeps !!

oh ! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DORA !!! XD

Ich hoffen, Sie sind ernst zu unserer Beziehung.....

2007-12-03T00:35:00.000+08:00

Finally today's weather was great !!!!!!! hot and sunny day on sunday..... and cos of that... chingay training was fun and bla bla bla bla...... managed to learnt few moves on blades.... as well as some research on the net and at ECP.....

watched tattooist at PS... somehow similar to shuttle cos of the plot...... even though its diff.. but the moral is there....... 2.5/5 =X...

though its holiday for me..... after checking my calender..... its still not holiday for me....... sigh..... anyway.... im beat after training..... glad that she's back !!!! XD.....

trying very very hard to maintain...

Some times im tired of life... until now.. no one seems to understand... but i'll still persever...

2007-11-26T22:24:00.000+08:00

Smell of freedom

2007-11-23T00:13:00.000+08:00

Today marks the day of exam-free! school's exam are over... and i dont know how i do.... hopefully will pass...... today had ATCL piano exam.... im feeling very disappointed...... freakin air-conditional... so cold which stiffen my fingerss...... darn it..... im so depressed now..

very tired to blog after all the playin in the com lab.... shall continue tomorrow

愛情路

2007-11-13T01:44:00.000+08:00

Its been awhile since my last entry.... anyway.... very worried and stress about dbass and piano exam.. sigh... dont know what to say... watched few BA student's recital exam..... really inspiring and encouraging...... WHOA...... =(

Very excited about chingay now.... in roller blading group.... finally !! after many confusions... sigh...

right..... tomorrow is my conducting exam.... hopefully there wont have any bias or something...

anyway..... LT's early celebration was fun..... BOWLING !!! whaha..... lets bowl again shall we ?!?!?! hur hur hur !! and blading !!!

Sports day at sentosa.. tele-match

3rd in telematch !!! (incomplete team)

C.b and i....

Heh heh...

Bo chap.~~~

eh... eh....

Peekaboooo!!

Bday girl Liting!!

Jane and i ! must be tired.. =p

Very windy~~

2007-11-08T00:59:00.000+08:00

So many problems in school now...... finding a teacher..... a good one especially..... i knew that he's a good teacher..........

im very sick and f.tired of helping such ungrateful ppl who only complains about other ppl who tries to help them with their best........ spending sometime to help them....... even though with some mistakes....... im tired of helpin them....

2007-11-02T01:19:00.000+08:00

Im really feeling lost now...... always got caught in the middle.... of everything....

at least 3 modules assignments are done......... left 2 more..... one tomorrow and one in next week...

i really hate myself now..... i cant do anything for the better......

Im too tired to think about anything....

2007-11-01T00:40:00.001+08:00

Im feeling very down now.... just received a msg from my teacher that he wont be teaching me for the last lesson... and i was totally upset.. cos i wanted to play a song for him as a farewell piece.... time flies very fast... i remembered the time when he called me for audition to nafa as bassist.... and the day when we ate ramen together... and listened to stories about basses...

now... just a msg.... he has left.... im very upset.....

other than that..... i've too many things to upset about....

for chingay.. i'll be placed as reserve cos of my commitment.... every wed night i'lll be having rehearsals.. WHICH I DIDN REALLY WANT TO CLASH!! im feeling so FRUSTRATED !!!! i was looking forward to participate so much..... im pissed with them !!! i really am.... which leads me to help them reluctantly in the future !!!

thats one..

next is that my composition.... i've really put alot of my heart into it.... cos its what im feeling for past few weeks... and i've my best by composing only using 5 NOTES...... just 5.... pentatonic scale.. but it really seems hard to perform it.... im really trying to accomodate everyone so that they can play them even without much practice as everyone is superb busy playing for one another's piece... i understand...

thats two..

ATCL piano is on 22 nov.. and dbass exam is on 21 nov.... how great!!!.... im juggling two things at a time... and i dont wanna fail both of them..... cos i've been putting alot alot of efford for pass everyone of them.... ATCL fees is FUCKING MADNESS.... 700++.... just to get a piece of cert....... if i fail dbass exam.... i have to retain... and have to spend 2000+ for another year again.. i dont wanna feed the stupid school with money again... and get ill treated by FUCKIN vODK@ H@RTUNG..... he's the most motherfucking piece of shit i've ever encounter in my life !!! he deserves to be condemned.. and i have my limits of the ill treatment that he gave me.... and i tried to fit his standard WHICH IT'LL TAKE ME abt 10 YEARS for that ?

thats three..

i dont feel like doin my work now.... even though tomorrow is the submission... im gonna break down soon...

i actually felt like suiciding? which is madness...

its just two more days, why cant you wait? why cant you understand the situation that im undergoin? its drivin me crazy to the core!!!.. i cant abandon my academics after how much efford i've been putting since 2 years ago... pls understand... its not like i want for last min changes?

Why is this happening ?!?!

2007-10-30T23:11:00.001+08:00

Why? why does no one seem to understand the stressful and frustration that im feeling now ? like i've said before.. this week is fucking cb stressful week for us... cos for me.. i have to hand in 4 fucking portfolios by THIS WEEK...... and as an orchestra player... THERE'S ALWAYS AN ENDLESS REHEARSALS FOR ME..........

ITS NOT FUN AT ALL.........

i've been sleeping late just to finish all these junk up..... of course i'll be DAMN TIRED..... and FRUSTRATED EASILY........

and problems have been adding on and on..... not only 1 problem.. but 2..... and 3.... !!! its very tiring..... very.....

why is this so difficult to understand? its not as if i dont even care about other ppl..... i cared too much until they dont give a damn about me.... actually i dont really care if they do care or not..... JUST DONT PROVOKE ME.........

im very tired... very tired......

if no one cares. its ok..... just dont provoke me...

pls understandin.....

ARGH ! STRESS !! PUI !! GAHHHHH!!!!!

2007-10-30T00:05:00.001+08:00

Im left with instrumental and vocal teaching homework, orchestration, history !.... ARGH !!!!!! IM SO STRESSED !!!!!!!! PISSED AND FRUSTRATED !!!!!

ok... still feeling down and in worst condition.....

better continue my shitty work...

This week is very difficult for me, im truly and very sorry, and im feeling so shitty at myself for what've happened.... i hope you'll understand.....

BURNT....

2007-10-28T11:05:00.000+08:00

Can you smell the stressful aura around here ?!?!!? everyone of us are filled with stress now... 3 portfolios have to be submitted by this week !!! omg !!!! ..... History, Instrumentation and vocal teaching and Composition....... argh !!! so cham.... then following week must hand in concert reviews and NAFA performances...... argh !!! ARGH ARGH !!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im feelin so shhhhhiiiieeeettty now.... my history are yet to be touched...... not to mention about concert reviews which i totally cant be bothered about...... but i have no choice to finished 2 already.... left 2 more.....

anyway.... sportsday was fun... even though the attendence was much lesser than previous years..... but this time i managed to see hilarious ppl around nafa... ppl who are BHB..... one of them was the contestant for the NAFA queen and king... the girl painted herself with words like "im hot and cool" etc.... even though she's not... just as slim as a bamboo.. but she's full of confidence... admire that... she can win if she wasnt that...... bbeeecthy...

my composition is almost done....... which i've spent whole day tryin to finish it.... even though i was distracted with lots of things around me.... like... crunchy rollllll... argh !! concentration !! im so dead for history now........

right... i better CHIONNNNNNNNG my compo now..... tata!!! GLHF!

Farewell my teacher...

2007-10-20T16:52:00.001+08:00

Just had a recording for SSA's new album... the initial piece was unsuccessful... as im not familar with jazz style... im so clueless and hopeless.. wasted everyone's time... damn it.. so now we'll be having another session again comin tues.... then again... we had recorded for the next piece which is very last min for me.. Tricia have this idea of adding me into her other piece.. which only have voice and piano at first... now there's additional music played by me in the background.. which sounds totally like crap !! arghhhhhh....... i cant produce the texture which i always wanted: a warm and round sound rather than straight forward and dead sound.. blame it on my right hand... so stiff and retarddddd.....

Teacher Xu wont be teaching me anymore... as he've left SS0... due to some politics issues which pisses him off.... damn it.. politics everywhere... thus, lossing one of their best players... he'll be leaving end of this sem... and its very difficult for me to accept it.. after all the 3 years of learning under him.. he knows me best compared to other ppl... my tons of flaws and everything... and he tried to change my flaws... which until now i still cant change it... however its thanks to him that i've come to like my instrument... and able to make good use of the talent... i sincerely thank him.... i was hoping to continue to learn under him after i graduate and during army daze before goin overseas to further study..... im still very very unprepared and not ready which i'll need him very much.. but now its gone... i'll have to learn and adapt new style from other teachers..

its very sad... but life goes on as they says... i just hope there'll be another teacher who'll be like him...

farewell teacher....thank you for your guidance.....

2007-10-17T00:19:00.000+08:00

Im tired.... hate myself alot for being useless..

I feel so jealous...

One last breath...

2007-10-16T00:10:00.000+08:00

im so dead right now.... im only left with 11 hours before finishing my presentation preparations... shostakovich's work is very difficult to analyseeeeeeeee... as well as bach !! argh....

its very tiring for me these 2 days... perhaps thats the reason why i'll get moody easily.. very sianz... must calm downnnnnnn~~~

rehearsals coming again.. and have to attend some concert.. sigh..... when will i have my free time !?!?! (&%^*

anyway.... i wont be bloggin for the time being... since there's nth interesting to blog about..

to end off... wanna say.... to the whole wide world that..... treasure what you have right now... really treasure them, and show/do it that you really do.. before you lose them right below your eyes.. and i mean it.

im holding one last breath..........

to finish my presentations... argh~~

tschuz....

Shostakovich feast.....

2007-10-15T00:19:00.000+08:00

Here I am trying to be a superman to finish my presentation slide when I just started doin it phew hours ago, when my presentation is this coming tue... CRAP..

I've been reading alot recently.. whoa... about Shostakovich... other than his words, I've been reading about his life. Interesting man i must say. He have lots of complain about other ppl according to this testimonies. One of the victim is Toscanini... hartunG's favourite... where shostakovich hated him very much... shant elaborate more... perhaps H@rtung wont wanna play his symphonies... but his symphonies are nice !!

His testimonies were very similar to the bloggers, writing their thoughts and complains and bitching about other ppl etc... very similar and interesting for someone like him in his era..

Also read about Beethoven, mozart and haydn's skull... where the researchers and scientist have analysed their skull to confirm the actual illness for their death... Beethoven's skull looks distorted and uneven, but he's still very smart !!... Mozart's is very small.. but still very smart !!! Haydn's is big !!! and also very smart... hmmmmm

anyway very random...

until now im very frustrated for being so careless and dumb to leave important things in the bus !!!! wth is wrong with me..... im very pissed with myself ... darn it !

anyway.... im just trying to warm up my fingers before....... GOIN TO SLEEP !!..... and i'll die if i do that... i better do now... tata~

Its been a wonderful time and days to spent with you... Im doin my best to have confidence... however my old self is returning day by day as my heart have gone deeper... argh.!! ...

2007-10-14T01:16:00.000+08:00

Im very Frustrated..... very very very frustrated...

Im very sorry... im such a let down...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Lovely C.b and Jane!! hohoho...

2007-10-10T00:39:00.000+08:00

oh yea!!! the title explains it allll !!!! for the first time... i sang for 3 hours in party world.... but i enjoyed it.... the errors.. and translations for me... whaha pathetic for me.. =(

anyway... pity i didn contribute much.... very sad about it...

oh heres the pic for now XD

My favourite pic !!
My eyelashes... thin..

The Birthday babies...

Liting and Jane!!
Hoho... them again.. birthday babies... (1 day apart)
Jane and Cq...
C.b and i.... classic pic !!!

Unbelieveable......

2007-10-09T00:16:00.000+08:00

Had rehearsal for 4 hours.... stand until im growing shorter each day... sigh.... now since performance is coming...... the expectations are higher and higher and more harsh.... thats why im getting lotsa headaches now...

Im very sick and tired when things are clashing together each time !!!! its very frustrating to keep on changing and stuff... $%$@&$

today enjoyed myself... hope you too... but im sorry... and ya.... i'll remeber your words.. i hate myself for my mistakes.. sigh... i wont do it again.. im disappointed in myself

Month no. 3...

2007-10-08T00:02:00.000+08:00

HAppy Birthday C.b!!!!!!! no more being a teen already.... Enjoyed the outing today... sing until my voice can break deeper..... dddeeeeEEEEEEEEEPPPPPER.....

Today's lesson is a greatest achievements i've ever had... stabling of my instrument against my body... its tough.... once its stabled... all the shiftings will be eased and all running notes will be audible !! hoho.. however... im very sad teacher wont be staying longer... sigh..

Today sang for 3-4 hours..... once in my life i ever sang karaokie and for that long... enjoyedddddd......

However, ich bin für das Bilden dich verärgert aller zeit traurig.... Glückliche drei Monate.... ich liebe dich...

All riseeee

2007-10-07T01:14:00.000+08:00

Attended Graduation meeting today at HQ.... was kinda touched and sad that our IICs are leaving... and with the new appointed of IICs and CICs.. looking forward to work together... their testimonials never fail to inspire everyone..

seeing everyone there makes me happy and felt nostalgic about our past events...

Cq: THERE! something short and sweet.... Thanks for everything.. really touched.. here's mine to you.. 'Make a choice'.

No matter what, i've already accepted you... even your flaws.. as in ACCEPTED... EVERYTHING !!! =p.. and i'll want to be that 1% out of 99%.. Ich liebe dich seht viel... wirklich honig!!! ich lasse dich nie...

Bibbadee Bibbadaaaaaa

2007-10-04T23:32:00.000+08:00

Im so tired now.... AYE!!!! Been busy with school stuff as usual... and now there's a prob added. Its very sad and frustrating when petty matters were created into huge matters... just 2 more weeks and its over !! i really wanna perform that piece with everyone... i really want !!! just leave personal feelings aside while working with one another.... argh....

I dont wanna think about it anymore.... it'll be outta my league

Did a brain test about myself... its a test to see are you a left brainer? right brainer? auditory or visual typed? its a very interesting test...

Left Brain: organized and systematically... does things orderly

Right Brain: creative, emo-emo...

auditory: well.. just like its name... audiooooo....

visual: ...... visual

and.......

my result shows that...

both of my right and left brain are equal...

and more to visual than auditory... Dr Tan teased me that i'll tend to find a gf with sexy figure... haha... hmmmmm....... hmmmmmmm........ and she said that a musician must be more of audio typed... oh come on.... visual is important too!! so that i can be alert whenever im performing infront of audience and see their reactions!!! whaha... anyway... Dr Tan is such a humerous lecturer i've ever had... XD.... but i HATE HER WORK !

anyway.. off to her work...

When life is getting better...

2007-10-01T21:29:00.000+08:00

Shansoshima(devilish function) attacks...

Mom gave me a huge lecture on sat and yesterday as well.... didn have the mood to do anything... and i didn reply her lecture or something... kept completely silent... whats more... mom had resigned from her job... so.. no more income for us... have to save alot from now... wasnt upset about this... but the lectures that mom gave me...

Didn really have the mood to blog.. or say anything... but to study hard.... earn hard.. hopefully

Dearest SISTAZ.... im terribly sorry for not answerin your calls and goin out... im terribly very very sorry... very upset..

Appreciations and Gratitudes...

2007-09-29T23:53:00.000+08:00

Today learnt about gratitude and appreciations, where you'll work very hard to repay ppl who helped you once.. thats how you show your gratitude and appreciations...

Missed... your actions will tell if you do feel..

Mom please.....

2007-09-29T18:23:00.000+08:00

Feeling worst than ever..... Mom can never understand me no matter what i tell her... she only assumes things as what she think it is.. she'll never ever bother to ask me for reasons.. and just assume that things are like that as she thought. and i hate that ! i really hate it... she thinks im still the same as before.. being naive and stubborn.. well.. thats what i got from you mom.. im different now... im really different ! Im glad i've participated lots of gakkai activities and know many ppl, learn new and fruitful things... thats what i've changed within 3 years.... Im really glad that i know her and found her.... and im not goin to lose her....

Now.. i dont really care how much you cared about me mom.. all i always wanted is you to be happy... and how i want others to be happy.... but sometime i want you to show at least you love me... in my life most of the time you do was scolding me.... since im a rascal.. but now things are different...... I really hope you find yourself a life partner so he can take care of you... i always wanted to take care of dad and you with all my might.. now he've left us... and you are the only one we cared the most.....

Im happy that i have you... =)... where im more motivated....

Tired.. tiredd.... and tirreeeddddd....

2007-09-29T00:30:00.000+08:00

Very tired today... been practicing piano for 5 hours.... since morning to night... very tired and mentally drained.. felt so bad for not doin dr goh's homework... felt really bad and guilty... nvm i'll work doubly hard... nth much to blog about now.. just tired

Com lab..

2007-09-27T10:57:00.000+08:00

Right now im in school com lab since yesterday... jk... its 2 more mins before 'instrumental and vocal teaching' lesson starts.. and just blog for the sake of killin my boredness by talking.. crap.... by the time i've finished bloggin it... it'll be just nice ! hoho..

1 more min !!!

ok... nvm... just nice.... gtg... tata !!! whaha..

A simple 'hi' msg from you will always make me go high and bonkers...

Turning point ? Choices...

2007-09-26T22:55:00.000+08:00

Orchestra ended 1 hour late than usual since there's an open rehearsal of marriage of Figaro for public. Its a huge pity i didn got the tix for it! damn >.<. We are playing Wagner's Reinze again (for me, during philharmonic winds concert). Luckly for that i remember how it sounded like and able to play them. Beethoven's symphony no.3 'eroica', wonderful piece yet almost a killer. Phew..

Enjoyed the mooncake festival yesterday, thanks for the mooncake ! it was delicious! trust me... im not lying ! really! honest! Glad that its back to normal again XD, dont want something like that to happen again, its very sad.. sigh. I really wish can do something that we didn do before together, it'll be fun i promise you.

Now, im soooooooooooooo tireeeeedd. Nightz

Schlafen sehr gut ! XD

Is it me ?

2007-09-25T00:02:00.000+08:00

Very tired today ever since the performance.....everyday listen to band music... very mentally drained..

was really pissed in the morning... why cant you just practice your part rather than spending money on phones and foods ?!?! im so freaking tired to listen to your mistakes all over and over !! once and twice is enough already.... pls.... prac your part..

band is wasting my time for the 2nd part.... they are playing the piece which doesn have my part... so i enjoying my time reading 'ninja' book... its fantastic adventure story book.... i wanna buy more books... investigations... romance (especially so can be more romantic).... killins and actions...

practiced very hard for piano and dbass in the night... and played some games to destress myself. 'pathetique' sonata suits my emotions now...

my teeth still hurts like mad... grrrrrr........ been eating lesser and lesser... oh well.. another way of diet =)

Im truly sorry that i cant decide a definite place which you'll enjoy... im sorry for being a boring person... but all i want is to see you. I've always been dying to see you, your smile.. and little lecture whenever i did mistakes.. but what i'll always feel upset was when you ignore me, when i cant get to do many things with you but you did with friends.. (but thats ok to me.. cos you are enjoying which what i always wanted.. your happiness)... to me... liking and loving a person doesn care what 's her/his flaws... since you've/i've already accepted their everything.. and also doesn care whatever they are goin or doin... cos its the company that counts... all you want is to see their smiling faces.. and that makes your day.. i really dont care if you suggested a place which i dont like.... i really dont care.. cos i can get to see you.... i really really dont care.... i can abandon my other happiness to see you... cos you are my desires and happiness itself... I'll work harder.. think of more better things to do.. i dont care whether you are unreasonable or not.. i really dont care... i dont give a damn... im sorry if i overreacted.... read all your previous entries... felt full of envys for them/him... that how much you really liked them/him.. at the same time.. feeling hatred towards them... how can they be such a fucking bastards jerks? you might not like me saying that since im a 3rd party to talk about this.. but its my point of view.. i dont know what actually happened.. but things can always be solve by talking.. but avoiding.. but its already in the past for you... and mine as well. I will not hurt you.. pls dont feel phobic just in case... im unlike them. Im ME...

Being Toccataed...

2007-09-22T23:54:00.000+08:00

Tiring today... teaching in morning.. piano lesson in afternoon... and rehearsal at night.... stressed! screwed up in rehearsals..... thanks to bach's toccata and fugue in d minor.... freaking difficult for my part... crossing string all the way in semi quavers and fast tempo... and i'd my screwed up 'solo' infront of everybody... embarrassing..... oh well.. its my last performance with them... i needa break.. i wanna catch up with my work.... i wanna do very well... for my final year... i dont want to make a mistake just like how i did during 'o'.... total regret of my life... but its over. life goes on and on and on and ...onn.. and...zzz...

almost cried when i play 'pathetique' sonata 2nd movement... firstly the song is delicious... and secondly i wasnt in high-life condition.... and was feeling pathetic at the same time.... Roy, my Iic, wasnt happy with me cos i didn attend the meeting and didn pick up his call.. its my fault that i didn call back cos i always forgot about it... and also didn pick up when i was busy.. i felt so upset... its not that i dont wanna go meeting... my school schedule is so pack with rehearsals and performances... and outside projects as well.. i really really wished that i can attend the meeting.. and SD concert.. and how i wished i can perform on that day too ! why things always colide together and making my life miserable ?! there was once where i had band rehearsal, Stomp trainin and Gym core coliding together... and all of them are compulsory.... what am i suppose to do ? its so upsetting when i cant go and i have to be angry or upset at... i know its once in a lifetime to go to that meeting... why ?! warum?!

Just massage mom's leg.. she is overworkin herself in the airport.. cos they are lacking of man-power as 3 of her colleague fought among each other... just like kids... seeing her condition really pains me... she is always lively and cheerfulness just like in the past.. but now she's getting old... and im still studying.. i really wished she can find her new life partner who can really look after her... sis got her rashes cos of drinking too much alcohol...

i really want to do my best in my work.....

All i want is your concern... your calls and msg... and of course you.. just like last time... these are the ones i really really need now... I may be seemed as a pathetic buggar now.. but meine liebe fur dich will never change... ever... change... I dont wanna say too much.. cos i dont want to have arguement again.. im not as perfect as them... and you might think im being weird or being ridiculous.. but im saying from my feelings... if not i'll always feel insecure...its not cos of who.. its cos of action.. i better stop.. im so long-winded... tsk... but still..im doin, not trying, my very best to make you feel the happiest girl in your life.. cos you meant alot to me.. Happy 11th week... and counting...

'Brush teeth daily to make it white!'

2007-09-22T01:02:00.000+08:00

Anyway the title is rather random.... my teeth hurts real bad after dental appointment.. Dr Tan filed my front teeth to make it smaller in order to have more space to close in my bunny teeth... and the power chain with rubber band and dont-know-whatelse-band tied together.... thats why i dont have any mood to eat.. however i bought this mousse thingy.... strawberry flavoured somemore !! cos its edible.. its for protecting the outer layer of the teeth.. since my front took have been filed.. they need them more.... and my stomach too =X

School is having more and more weird ppl.. however, talented.. =/... no wonder talented musicians are weird ppl.. too bad im not talented since im that weird.... oh whatever...

Finally went for my 3rd rehearsal... seemed kinda lost bit during the beginning... but its better thanks to all the last min rehearsals 'trainin' and stuff =X..... Boston Brass are real good players.... the tuba guy can really play running notes FAST and CLEAR.... very important for lower pitch instrument... cos low pitch can be only heard as a thick vibration and not pitch if played wrongly... the horn player.. can really play the pitch correctly without error on every openins!!

but ya.. cant wait for this sunday... heard that 1200+ tix have been sold!! full house man !

So glad that she's feeling much better... heart got poked to see her in that state.. luckly i went to boost her yesterday! hopefully did not making it worst since i looked like one of the shinigami in death note....

You might find me irritating when i keep asking the same dumb question... it may be irritating.. but its important to me.... cos i dont want history to happen once again where i've once lost something important just like that within a blind of an eye and i DONT WANT that to happen... cos of that i always ask that to know if anything wrong... maybe the prob is that im being paranoiding.. like wth right? maybe im too stress... but i'll feel joy when you call me at times to check things about me or send some msg.... maybe its just be who cant stop thinking... and why is that? its because you are very important to me.... and i am treasuring you....doin my best to give you the best... doin my best not to make you feel bored... the reason i'll never angry with you is because if something goes wrong... i'll always reflect that as im the cause of it... and i dont want things to get worsen... anyway........................ im just thinking too much..... i fucking hate myself for it..... i really really really do..... my heart was shattered badly once just like a vase.... and it took me pains, plenty of time, $, to glue the shattered once together..... but its not a whole anymore..... However, after seeing you my heart became one again.. just like new... but the pain of being shattered is there... im sure you've experienced it before... thats why i dont wan it to happen to you again too....i've been chanting for everyone's happiness and great success for this..... im glad i've found you... =)

ya.... i talked too much.... im goin crazy soon.....tmd! why im so emo one!?.... screw myself.... dont wanna think about it anymore... why should i even think about unhappy things ?!?! im gonna live with happy moments now !!!... let nature takes its course!!..

gd night.....

Ich Lieber Dich immer.... wirklich....

Sorry about earlier.....

Being tagged !

2007-09-20T01:19:00.000+08:00

List out your top 5 birthday presents that you wish for:

1)Hon's bakin.. and mom's cookin.. and sis's snacks..
2)Sneakers.
3)bigger crumpler bag!
4)Shirts and pants =p
5)Eh...... something practical~ go guess =)

Answer the following questions:

1. The person who tag you is? Got two~ 1st is Aud, 2nd is Chin Chin

2. Your relationship with him/her is? Aud is my classmate~, chin is my hon. =)

3. Your 5 impressions of him/her/them!? Aud: Hyper, crazy, hyper, crazy, hyper & crazy =p... Chin: Sweet, caring, hyper, toot toot, funny XD...

4. The most memorable thing he/she had done for you? Aud: help me copy scores from a folk song book =X.... Chin: Gave me a surprise during my bday which leaves me speechless =D....

5. The most memorable words he/she had said to you? Aud: 'Everyone does mistakes!' Chin: too many to list =)

6. If he/she becomes your lover, you will? make her feel that she's the most luckest and luxurious girl....

7. If he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be? dont bother !! just be yourself.. i've already accepted your everything....

8. If he/she becomes your enemy you will? sign a peace threaty... nah =X... find out whats wrong...

9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be? TRUST...

10. The most desire thing you want to do for him/her now is? Aud: lend her my sims 2 until she's contended.... Chin: cook for her a wonderful meal and listen to my music..

11.Your overall impression of him/her is? Aud: a crazy-hyper good budz! Chin: A lovely Hon XD...

12.How you think people around you will feel about you? Mind like a 12 year old kid while imma 6 ft tall dude... Loud... crazy... hyper... emotic.. too soft-hearted... looking dao... look like ah beng..

13.The character(s) you love of yourself is/are?.. Getting hyper all the time, sporty..

14.On the contrary, the character(s) you hate of yourself is/are? Low-self estem, emo, think too much, being too too too too soft-hearted..

15.The most ideal person you want to be is? Being myself... im not a photocopied product.. but to be a wonderful friend, family, performer, cook, musician, and a wonderful Dar...

16.Pass this quiz to 10 people.in alphabetic order.

1. Chang boon
2. Ci Qing
3. Chan Si-han
4. Charmaine tan
5. Choo Weikang
6. Christoven
7. Jane Ho
8. Liting
9. Susy Ho
10. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....... Zheng Qiang!!!

Very tired after 2 performance.... my brain is almost completely drained out... the fear while playing the violin concerto.. its scary... and difficult to follow... received some comments from the audience who claims to be a student conductor from CO... yea......... the thing is.... we are still a STUDENT... if you can do it... pls go ahead... argh.... crap i must not worked up when i receive critisism.. nvm.. its over..... BLAHHH.....

hon is having camp now.... very lonely and still missing her... but ya... busy as ever.. concerts are coming ! finally few minor homework has completed... now left the majors one... HISTORY !!! darn it... i better sleep now...

have been cookin own meals to school just to save $..... sigh..

=(

2007-09-17T22:45:00.000+08:00

Very very tired these few days.... with very little amount of sleep.... and upset... first of all is the amount of work that has been accumiliated for all these weeks... i have yet touch them..

2nd... my skills have not been improving at all.... its getting bad to worst no matter how hard i worked on.... but still... im working on it... just sight-read a new piece which was given by xu 1i... and i almost kill myself for unable to play it well... all the weird fingerings that the paper stated.... so WEIRD !

3rdly.... is my friend's gadget..... where he took alot of time to save up to buy it... and i lost it within a min.... wth is wrong with me ?!?! im feeling so guilty now...... i never want to sleep in the bus again....im having this phoebia.... really...

ARGH !!!!!

Happy 23 sis!!

2007-09-15T13:50:00.000+08:00

HAppy 23 sis..... she's getting more and more mature already.... when will i ever see my bro-in-law ?!?! whahaha =X.....

anyway.... been quite busy these few days.... and lazy to blog.... really lazy.... and things happened.....

i feel soooooo stupid to lost my friend's things..... omg la !!!!! im so pissed with myself !!!!!! DAMN IT !!!!!!!!

its my blurness and kukuness.... damn it.... i hate myself for it !!!!! damn it damn it damn it damn it !!!!

more and more performances are coming !!! and im getting more and more lazy about it.... shit...

just being bored in bus....

bored....

hmph....

Sleep baby sleep....

2007-09-07T19:47:00.000+08:00

Finally.. after all the 3 hours of sleep for 3 consecutive days.... I've finished orchestration and composing hw... BYE BYE TO THEM !!!!

anyway.... soccer match is tomorrow and im still playing like shit... rusty as usual.. need more sleeeep.... to wake myself up....

Have been feeling traumatizing for past few days... and i've decided that... things arent similar as things in the past..... look upon the future... and work towards it...

and yes.... im gonna treasure it =)......

Low-life Condition

2007-09-03T20:31:00.000+08:00

Feeling very feverish... perhaps lack of sleep..... feeling stressed.... of many things...... and wil tend to think lots of things.... unhappy which is... darn it.. and hungryyyyy......

A huge battle between myself... i dont wanna think about it anymore...... shant think too much.............................................

Oh well.. thats life..

Feeling Latin yea?

2007-09-01T23:25:00.000+08:00

Today's performance is one of the best i've ever performed... the feeling of performing with nestor torres is totally diff from what i've ever performed with... im not being exaggerating... but its true...

today's the only rehearsal i attended before performing... quite rush.. but fortunately the songs were easy... however... easy pieces are very hard to play with... Nestor torres gave us a little lecture of how precious time is... as everyone's response were so dead...

the time for him to perform after he arrive in sing@pore is soo rush and with little rest... and receiving cold response from performers... its normal to be angry..... but he didn really scold us.... he only said that we must treasure the time we having... he didn wanna show off his talent... he want to SHARE his music, his life, his experiences and his story to us... that really touches me...

we youngsters are still young and have to live this youthful life form in us... to create/produce music we all MUST have PASSION....

after sharing to us... everyone played so much better!!.....

Nestor's improvisation is terribly GREAT !!! his flute skill... jazzy & classical style are so shooting to our ears... his improvisation in the last part before we end was playing 'Over the Rainbow'.... i really enjoyed that last moment... trying to dance along with my instru... really really inspired once again... i love his latin music playing as well... woooot.... it can really put my sorrow away for moment...

im glad he gave us a mini lecture about youth and passion and music....

thank you for the show..

havin fever nowwwwww.........

Good night...

Great symphonies.....

2007-08-29T23:37:00.001+08:00

Im burning out soon... the heat in my eyes are deteriorating slowly by slowly.... is cos im lack of sleep and of course..... psp =/..... i shall stop.. for now...

feelin wornt out by the rehearsals that im goin through and dont have a 'one-full day off' to chilllllll..... and enjoy my day.... darn it.... im feeling so freakingly tired and pissed...... snco (not a chinese orchestra)itself is a headache one.... not because i dont wanna play for them... it is the way they treat ppl... sometimes its not right.... but its nestor torres that im playing with... i was delighted to hear that they're asking me to play for them... but its..... nvm...

Philwinds concert is coming soon as well.... and i've yet practice the toccata and fugue in d minor... its a headache i tell you.... but i love that piece.. i wont be playing for them for the time being....

TPO... as well.... sibelius performance.... they really in need of more basses.... but i need time to do my own work.... and also kosen rofu and of course .... YOU...

schubert's great symphony is a killer... especially the 4th movement... fast and tons of running notes for everyone.. no wonder many musicians are all asking for MC leave... i hate the new rosine that i bought.... it sux to the core !! it spoils my feel for the bowing.... and the strings !! darn it.... $10 more ex than Pop's !!!! omg..... pissed..

few days back we went to watch the ghost opera and the mad king.... the ghost opera is difficult in coordination....... somehow got the errreeee feeling..... the mad king song is more hilarious one... Adrian Poon is fantastic! the acting and singing... really sounds like mad man.. i enjoyed that day....

somehow previously im in emo state..... think too much..... why ?!?! it always happened and its frustrating..... felt like banging myself onto the wall even though the wall might break... such a low-self estem i have.... sigh.....

SIGH......

im stuck with composition now..... its tough... for my song especially... since i want it to be good..... melodious.... but then it might sound too thick...... ahh what the heck.... just chiong ar...

=/

Relax and chill

2007-08-22T23:13:00.000+08:00

Things are quite settled for now... not feeling pissified anymore.. thanks to the patience that i've put up...

busy doin compo now.. revising a folk song piece... at first i thought it was "A Group of Snowy Sheeps".... then si han told me should be 'herds' instead of 'group', and not snowy sheeps... since i translated directly from chinese to english.. it sounded really weird..

anyway.. i checked the book.. its 'a Group of White Sheeps' neh neh...

Desaru trip is cancelled !! no way !! can say its good for me since i'll be bringing my instrument if we are goin.. and quite.... VERY i mean... worried about the safety of my instrument.. instead.. we'll be having camp in SCHOOL.... ARGH !!! of all places... bah..

doin Beethoven's Eroica Symphony... the last movement is killing us...

so hooked up in PSP games now... darn it.. should practice more !! oh !! learning new piece now.. very excited about it since i love the piece very much.. ho ho must devour the piece slowly by slowly.... heh heh =]

as for now.... dont think too much yr !! its all in the past already... look ahead.... sigh..........................

X(

...........

2007-08-20T01:52:00.000+08:00

its pissifying....

so packed...... and its really pissin me off when i cant do my stuff...

its not i wanted to be like that...

very depressed in these period.... need some peaceeeeeeeeeeeeee.......

A good way to detox... eat MIXTURES of ICECREAM!!

2007-08-13T22:01:00.000+08:00

Having a bad diarrhoea now... park in the toilet until no energy left to sleep...

Had a great PARTY by SISTAZ.... thanks for the lovely cake jane !! i really love it... wanna eat it some day when im feeling better... thanks for the present !! i love it too!! Sihan was impress by the size of the watch.. whaha..

today had 6 hours of practice.. my brain is drained dry now.. as usual.. im always pissed by a certain fag... shant spell it out.. if not it'll take most of your time... listening/looking at the words...

borrowed PSP from Pinwen... cant take my eyes off the tennis 3 game.. other than his 8 games.. i only engross myself in only 1 game.. hah..

thanks for the surprise guys!!!! it was totally priceless looking at my state of stunned.... =O

heeeee...... off to do work now... back to work !

Zwanzig jahre alt !!

2007-08-11T22:01:00.000+08:00

Oh boy... getting older already.... enjoyed myself for 2 days back then..... heeeeee XD love it !

Happy Patriotic Day~~

2007-08-08T22:15:00.000+08:00

Its been a year pass since my NDP performance on national day last year..... i still remember the days of building up the human tower.. is a pain in the bee hive... but the feelin is GREAT !! for building up the human tower of course ~~~

Now.. i cant be bothered to show some respect for you.. its a waste of my efforts... shant be bothered by it..

anyway..... the pissifyin days are over.. im just feeling great !! Dr Tan was right !! we should reward ourselves at times... eat some nice meal... walk around and view scenery around..

Oh ya... some photos for the Trout Quintet performance..

My bio pics.

Trout Quintet

2 more days..... =p

Robots in disguise

2007-08-06T23:24:00.000+08:00

After long periods of busy school.... i managed to watch TRANSFORMERS!!!!!!!! my childhood favourite!!! the movie is fantabulously-deliciously MADE !!!!!!!

anyway.... its great...... woots..

i remembered that when i was young.. i start to speak when i was 5 cos of something wrong with my tongue... bla bla bla...... and after watching transformers i begin to talk... reason was that i tried to imitate whatever the robots are talking... they lips movement and accent.. and voice.. and sounds... how great is that show =D

anyway.... now... my eyes looked like a panda even if i dont put mascara... i need sleep !! XD

now my sis sleeping on the floor in my room =/...... weird la !! everyday come gak jiaoin me.... =X

anyway.. off for hw !!

Friday the lovely day~

2007-08-03T23:53:00.000+08:00

Finally its friday.... the hell of school is off for 2 days... lots of work need to be done... luckily started on few ones already... bah... its getting tougher and tougher...

national day is around the right-hand corner... wonder how will the ndp be like this year.. very curious since i didn join for this year.. if not i'll probably lying dead on the road now.. total drain out !

nth to blog much... just that been in sleepy and bad moody moody mood past few days.. just need more sleep..... zzzzzzz

oh well.. off to slack now !! tschuz ~

Downhill...

2007-07-31T23:02:00.000+08:00

Im very tired and upset now...
Never felt so pissed and fucked-up before...
Who am I to you?
What do you treat me as ?
Why do i deserves that?

Because of you.. you fucked up my day..
Because of you.. you make me condemn you..
Because of you.. I despise you...
Im so sick of your fucking attitude..
Im so sick of respecting you or anyone anymore...
I do not deserves this treatment..

I came here to study... not to be humiliated by you
FYI... i AM here today.. i want to play a piece..
or give you a piece of my mind if you dont mind..
without me... the school will be 2000+ lesser..
with 2000+ lesser, your pay will DECREASE..
without me... the school will be a bass lesser..
you are a real CB fucker... im really tired of this shit..
I've been tolerating you since last year..
every since the 'horse shit' guy..
you are a fucking BIAS shit head..

Im really tired of this now.. i really need some air..
peace and quiet..
stop provoking me or i'll burst and flare just like a balloon explode
after been poked by needle..

Today is not my day....

to you.. i've also upset you...
Im upset even more now..

imma woodblock... =(

ITS OVER !!!!!

2007-07-31T00:38:00.000+08:00

Finally figaro production is over !! ended !! THE END !!! ......

my eye bags have been growing bigger, wider... and DARKER each day !!!...

today had 3 rehearsals/performance !!!! veyr tiring..... morning string.. afternoon band... and night is the opera..... and tomorrow... PLAYING FOR STRING CLASS>..... bahhh..... very tired now.... on the 2nd week only !!!!!!

reports have yet to be touched..... research started halfway.... sianz..... very tired.. i dont think i've time to commit for additional activities/engagements..... i still have to teach !! i've been changing the time for my student !!!! omg..... im feeling remorseful now....

i want to have more time !!!!! tian ar !!

told one of the peeps.. if you have the urge to scold vulgarities.. just use composer's names to replace it.... it'll sound much nicer...... like... TMD... to.... MAHLER....... sounds bit the same.. but nicer right ? since scolding vulgarities in esplanade is so TAK GLAM... so use composer's names lo.. haha

anyway..... im FRISKING pissed with cab drivers nowadays..... im glad that i told that driver off when he keep telling me that my bass cannot fit into the cab !!! i told him that i've transport that thousands of times in that tiny pinky vehicle of his !!!..... and yet he dont agree... i was so pissed also parlty of the first cab where he run away after seeing my instrument..... super DU LAN....

i told the 2nd one that whether would he dare to take the bet that my bass would fit into the cab..... in the end he run away..... !@#$%^&*(

the 3rd one.... he was smiling..... but asked the same question.... seeing his smiling face eased my anger... but in the end i told him it fits !!! dont know why the taxi drivers have the sudden feeling of rich !! when they dont wanna make business with big instrument holders like me !!! ARGH !!!!

anwyay.... im pissed and tired now....... i just want..........................

gd night...

Eventful day

2007-07-28T00:54:00.000+08:00

4th day where i sprint for my rehearsals...

been late for almost all practices... got scolded... bah...

super tired nowwwwwww...... cant really think of anything to write..... just that today's the 1st Hey Figaro! performance....... it went well.. and its hilarious.. too bad cant watch =(.... why ? cos the vocallist kept singing ABOVE MY HEAD !! and i cant turn my head 180 degress behind !! sigh..

the peru ambassador performance...... was..... short.... think 10 mins only.. where we waited for 2 HOURS..... the president came.... and gave their long long speech before we can continue... and first was our national anthem... we played... and the audience responds was..... like that...... then there's a pause.... and no one spoke anything.... untill H@rtung have to look at them =/.... after playing peru's anthem... there's some cheer from the audience.... where's our ppl cheering for our anthem ?!?!?! hmmmmm =/

Its a pity that we cant eat at the hotel.... why ? cos we were busy panicking if we're able to make it to esplanade on time... Jeremiah (year 1) and i were calmin ourselve down by talking alot.... while sihan kept shutting us up.... and i trying to shut them up when they kept mentioning the time..... and jeremiah shutting us when....... we disturb him..... pity the cab driver..

after which..... we SPRINT !!!!! again... towards the theatre..... i think all the audience heard our stompage...

during break..... we ate alot.... most of it... siao hua must be happy.. that we cleared the left overs..

anywya..... cant wait for tomorrow =)...

Good bye to Deutsch...

2007-07-26T22:40:00.000+08:00

Today's the last day for my german lesson... kinda sad... wanted to continue the intermediate lessons but im afraid i dont have the time to attend....

today just received tons and TONS of workload to do...... really pissed... after all the rehearsals and workload previously... im freaking tired already... will get agitated easily... but nvm... i shall be COOOOOOOOL....

its my first time where im SOOOOOO FUCKING PISSED with my phone.... it keeps on dying on me DAILY...... after all the long hours of feeding it with my electricity and wasting my electricity billl!! (even though im not the one who's payin it)... but it just cuts off my conversation and stuff... tmd..

anyway... im so feeling so dumb.... left my bow in esplanade where i need to use it for school.. and the security guard couldn open for me as he wants the person in charge to be there.. ARGH !! im so screwed... or dead..

scheizer !!

calm down.......

im feeling that im just being nuisance...

First day....

2007-07-23T23:58:00.000+08:00

Today.... is the reopen of my school.... things were pretty normal... which is the peeps there... only lots of year 1 came in...

saw another bassist... nth much to comment~

audition was just like that..... his only concern was masai.. =/.... bullshit...

school system is as cock up as usual !!! darn it !! Tpo's fri concert is clashing with school's concert.... this is full of scheizer.....

anyway... im looking forward to meet you again XD

Nostalgic..

2007-07-22T01:50:00.001+08:00

After watching the skit of a person's life testimonial.. it really reminded me of myself 6 years back... i seriously hated myself in the past... pissed... feeling pathetic... hopeless...

cos of 3 incidents.... i will never look forward to by birthday... or even think about it.....

anyway.. its 6 years later NOW.... im glad im still living strongly.. cheerfully... i think... but im happy now..

N@fa is super last min freaks... it really pissing students off where they dont send notice to you through email.. but in SCHOOL DURING HOLIDAY !?!?!??! who the hell will always go back to school lo ?! other than me la.. lucky...

audition on 23rd.... clashing of some performance between TPO and shangri-la hotel.. OF COURSE I'D GO TO TPO'S CONCERT!!!!!! im paid for it !!! whereas i have to pay N@fa to perform ?! play what ?! national anthem !! hah~ interesting.... shall discuss about it on monday with BOTAK !

anyway.. just came back from hendri's place..... its huge !!! its totally like korean show... envious... mom always told me this.. "you want this right? work hard!" ok.. i'll work even harder now..... for myself... the audience... and my loved ones...

for now im just sad...

I FEEL LEFT OUT...

When banana tries to fight for an apple with orange together with pineapple!!!

2007-07-20T23:18:00.000+08:00

WOOOOHOOOOOOOO......... im high tonight....... really high.... something triggered me and become sor high...

practiced for 4+ uhrs in school......... and tour aroung bugis..... ya.... they have 3.8m tall WEDDING CAKE !!!!!!! THATS SUPER TALLER THAN MY DBASS !!!!! I WANNA DEVOUR IT !!!! YUMYUM !!!!!

WHATS A+B?!?!?!

the equations is....... 1452356............!@#$%^&^#@!@#$%^& ARGH !!!!!.........

sorry peeps ! im high tonight.... i just.... need to cool down.... phew phew phew......BREATHE IN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*PPPROOOOOOOOT*.....

yup... feeling better... yesterday watched st3ven l*m 's video to reply snowy's entry about him....... super hilarious.... imagine you're seeing 2 monkeys calling each other fugly and retards..... one of them have a powerful usage of english..... while the other....... hokkien vulgarities perhaps..... only in wrong pronunciations~ =/

anyway...... its so....... childish......

i may not be perfect......... but....... im who i am.. i'll work hard =)

Danke, fűr sein mit mir!!

ich sehr *iebe dich................................. viel!!!

Hairy Pottle

2007-07-19T00:52:00.000+08:00

Watched harry potter 5...... ahhh..... not that bad..... cos alot of talking and planning where the previous one is better than this.. anyway.. looking forward for the next one !! which is probably have to wait longer =/

my gum is swell!! difficult to eat and brush...!! grrrr....

Today.... you've made my day... =) danke !!

One last time...

2007-07-18T00:19:00.000+08:00

Today is the final day for having practice in tanjong katong area.. HOW SAD !!!! cos its nearer to my house... =(... Lim y@u wasnt in good mood in the beginning... late comers.. attendence not full.. and etc..

in the end he went high... cos of our music... muahaha....

went to cineleisure.... its been long time since my last visit 2 months agoooooooo.... changed alot !

anyway.... today's entry is short...... just wanna say felt better =)....

maybe i think too much >:(

16/7/2001

2007-07-17T00:15:00.000+08:00

Today went to visit dad at mandai columbarium... its been long time since my last visit to him... how unfilial of me..... still remembered that day.... the day when he was very for the first time.. and when i find something's not right.. anyway its over..

realised that i forgot to buy flowers for him.... so i made for him one... its better than buying...

went to visit tommy to discuss about itac meeting and stuff.... after watching him play... i realised that im ver inferior to many ppl.... where im trying hard to please..... there's a saying whereby just be yourself and stuff... but i cant buy it... im the kind of rather pleasing others than myself... i hate it...

anyway.... im very happy of what i have now..... but im working hard to improve to be good.......

im afraid of losing you....

My brain is dead tired now... perhaps why im so emo now..

alles gute...

Vivo vivo vivo~~~

2007-07-15T00:51:00.000+08:00

Being to vivo city twice in a row for 2 days... fri and sat.. the contrasting was totally diff.. fri morning was super quiet !! i can even hear the sound of a pin dropped on the floor... anyway.. the trip to sentosa was cancelled due to the overwhelming of our laziness XD...

the trip was so-so as everyone was tireddddddddddd..... and tiredddddd..... walkin around the vivo city and exploring the new shops.. then ate at carl's junior.. and felt sooooo cheated by the cashier! i just WANNA ORDER $4.40 OF FISH BURGER !!! she kept asking me in super-ultimate-faster-than-machine-gun tempo... so i just say " ah............................... double.............. eh...... bacon......... eh..... sandwich!!"

in the end... instead of 4.40... it came out 9.20...... wah steady... no wonder her counter is the only one that was open.. i think her boss purposely made her stay there to increase business by askin ppl in that tempo.. (lazy to type out)

then................ we went home and i lazy around in the house like a good boy... XP

one lookin at front, one rubbin eye like small boy, one playing game like kuku, the other .. no idea~ =/

Mark didn know i was there... honest!! =X

EH!?!? KUA SIMI ?! =X

Depression!! when waiter didn wanna take your order...

Vainpot in action.... XD

Prisoner Mark Seah, no. ben&jerry's..... (front view)

GROOOOWWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLL..... YUM !!!!!!! hippo in devouring an ice cream~!

It feels fat to drink their milkshake~~ (my milkshake are bigger than yours~~......) =/

The consequences when teenagers didn get to eat an ice cream =(

it feels so high ! XD

finally a hair cut !! looking kuku there~ =(

X-(

2007-07-13T01:24:00.001+08:00

My brain is dead... so dead !! i cant think of anything.. just find myself very dumb.... freaking dumb... sigh... why no ideas coming out of my mind......................................~~~~~~

Life isn't easy if you're blur and dumbbbbbbbbbb...... bah...

maybe just think tooo much, even though i cant think of anything.... sharks...

warum?! warum bin ich denken nicht ?! schizer!! ich haß selbst !!! ASHFIKA !!

warum meine mutter ist verständnis nicht ?!

möglicherweise bin ich dumm...

Tiefstand ....

Basket Jam!!!!!

2007-07-11T02:15:00.000+08:00

Hoho.... its been months and months since my last playing of Bball.. today went to play with dr goh and gang......had lots of fun !! thanks to the milkrun of 5.3km and gymnastic that i still have the stamina.. lets play more often !!!

Really enjoyed and glad... =D

=)

2007-07-10T00:12:00.000+08:00

Imma Happiest Boy !!!!! XD

080707

2007-07-09T00:42:00.000+08:00

The best memoriable day for me.. =)

though didn do much.... but great !!! XD

oh !! 070707 was great !!!! we yelled at the top of our lungs !! whahaha... the stomp was fantastic even its halve of our actual ppl... but the spirit is never halved!!! i'll miss you guyssssss T~T and of course if there's a chance... i'd gladly be your trainer again =D..... gym core rocks !! the stadium was shakened!! whaha.... i miss everyone there!! all the throwings as well.. and the sweat we perspired... i'll never forget this day....

thank you 070707... 010707 as well!!

i love 080707 =D

after all the trial and error.... finally!!!! left 4 more >.<

the ultimate no-link dude.. =X

Its coming !!

2007-07-06T15:46:00.000+08:00

ahhhhhh 777 is just comin soon later !!!! i cant wait for it!!

and it'll be over after that... no more gymnastic le... till further notice...

yup... feel so happy now.. =D really hope.........................

yet again... there's always worries... thinking back in the previous time line.... i hate bad memories... but who likes BAD memories? anyway... look forward and be happy what you have now =)

hope..

Finally =)....

2007-07-05T23:45:00.000+08:00

Ahhhhhhhhhhh..... 777 is coming soooooon !!! cant wait for it... all the hardships and time spent on the practices shall not be wasted!!

after this... everyone will be back to reality; goin to school, work, etc...

today's german lesson is killin me !! i must write a short diary of what i did few days back...... in german !! oh my tian... wunderbar !! das ist wunderbar !!!

but it was hella fun... the population have decreased tremendiously!! from 20 to 10 students!!!!

anyway.. i shall do my best !

finally.. after waiting for over 3 years... =D

Chill......

2007-07-03T23:48:00.000+08:00

Very very sianz now...... too busy to have other rehearsal..

Plan a musical group etc..

Get someone to give testimonials during meeting..

reachout to 'dont-know-how-many-ppl'

no moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood nowwwwww......

T~T

chilllllll...... pssssssssssst..

but nvm.. i shall do it with all my might then..

thank you stomp!!

2007-07-01T22:56:00.000+08:00

Today's performance really changed my life... other than managing my time... i also know how to take care of ppl... making sure no one left behind...

the rest of the group was great too !!! the cheerleading was energetic and fun !! cool!!! they have star wars, chicken little, pirates of carribean, some jap actress... COOL !!!!!

i really enjoyed myself..... truly...

the stomp trainers !!! love to work with you guys again!!

our precious participants !! XD

Stomp!!!! XD

woot the celebraties !!! XD

Cheerleading !!! woooot!!! cq.. that's waht you wanted right ?! they are just infront of me leh.... whahaha

lastly... i really thank stomp once again... cant wait for 777 gymcore now.. haha

AHHHH XD

2007-06-30T02:18:00.000+08:00

Guten Abend!!! Milkrun is left with 2 more days!!! Today I cancelled my piano lesson with Dr lim and didn attend Daniel's rehearsal.... im so dead!! didn attend dbass lesson with teacher xu for months ! argh! >.<.. my initial plan is ruined..

Im finally back on track practicing all the way for past few days, almost lost the hand of it.. finally i've completed the song for ITAC SD... Ymd assis. chief told us that GD Ong wrote a lyrics for us, Honour... and there's a deep meaning in it.. in order to response to him.. we'll compose a song to reply him.. and i hope that this ITAC song is available to reply his msg... really really hope !! but WEE LIANG !!! pls come out of army now !!!!!! 5 mins also can !! i just need your lyrics !!! ARGH >.<... he wont be out after 3 months later.... !@#$%^&...

Today's performance at Daimokukai was average... partly due to the attendence of the participants... but the rest did pretty good !! they really enjoying themselves to the moves !! realyl hope EVERYONE will enjoy to their fullest !!.... Stomp is a item where we make lots of noise all we want without being stop or even being scolded by other ppl.. serious !... and of course have to be synchronize with each other. Other than making noise, this is where we meet new friends.... As a trainer, other than knowin how tough being one is, also able to bring out their fullest responsibilities for the item and their participant.. if one is lazy.. will affect the participant.. i've experience that.. and its bad...

to be honest... other than feeling sad about the hp bills... i really enjoyed myself training the peeps in stomp ! XD.. contributing my crazy ideas for the rhythm.. planning my schedule real well.. oh ya.. meetin some crazy ppl.... HOR ?!?! =p... ;)

oh ya... still got Gym core...

oh ya... still got 3 more performances... and when school start..... the days of living hell arise !!!!!

im having gastric pain again.. spoilt my appetite on my fried rice !!!

anyway.. my brain is drained out already....

Tschuz !!! Schlafen sehr gut !!! bleahz!!

With crazy Kent the pirate!

before the performance !! hmmm something looks diff..